Because true belonging only happens when we present our authentic, imperfect selves to the world, our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self-acceptance” – Daring Greatly by Brene Brown
I am very much delighted to talk to my brother, Yves and thankfully he
agreed to do this with me haha
Before I get started, I’d like to introduce my family first – the pillar of
my strength. I am the eldest of 3. I have 2 brothers and we are very close to
each other. My parents and my youngest brother, Yves are all living in
California. My second brother, Lewdan is in the Philippines with his wife
Malen. He just got married last year
I’d like to talk about the colorful life of Yves. He also has his own blog –
thisbeksbakes.wordpress.com He inspired me to write. He is a great novelist and a baker. We talked last week regarding some of the topics here and I told him I am
very much interested in taboo and he was the very first person I think of.
I want to begin your story of how you came out in the family. It was when you were
in college. It’s so funny thinking about this now. Mom and dad’s reaction were so funny. haha
Y: Can I ask questions to you as well?
M: Well, yes. Fire away!
Y: Haha I’m excited.
M: Me too! Try to be wholesome. haha
M: When we were kids, we already noticed that you were fond of Chun Li in
Street Fighter. haha. That was like when you were 10 yrs old. Have you already known that you were gay since then?
Y: Honestly, I tried to fight it. But the feeling was so strong. haha I wanted
to be more of Chun Li than Ken in Street Fighter. I just didn’t know how to
accept it especially we were thought that it’s bad in religious beliefs and we
were even studying in a Catholic school! haha
M: I remember you were also courting a girl but I always knew that was just
a cover up. haha I just really wanted you to come forward before.
Y: Haha yes. I remember that too. I think that was more of desiring to be that
girl haha. I’m kidding. I was more of just interested and curious that if I did
what the society dictated, I’d be happier.
Y: We should have done podcast instead of this. It’s a lot easier.
M: Not that great in speaking as of now but I am working on it. So this will do for now.
M: That must be very hard for you to experience all of that until you came out.
Y: It was. But it would be a lot harder if I didn’t accept it and if I hadn’t
come out. I am glad that our family is very open to this. It really brought our
M: Yes, I agree. That was the time when we started to be open with a lot of
stuff. Sex, relationships, life and so on. I really believe that when you have
had that difficult conversations, it’s much easier to be vulnerable.
Y: It takes a lot of courage. Talking to our mom that I wanted a man instead of a woman was a very hard pill to swallow.
M: Walk me through again when you came out in the family. What happened?
Y: I remember it was in the hospital when mom was taking care of our uncle,
that’s the time I came out. haha
M: Haha what made you decide to come out?
Y: I wanted to be honest to myself and to you guys. I felt before that I was
not my true self to the people I love and I wanted to be free and happy.
M: I remember mom huddled us to talk about when you came out. haha. I was like
in denial. I honestly wanted you to be a guy. But you were already very unhappy
Y: Haha yes. It was a tough time in the family. I wonder what dad was thinking
M: haha he said that there was nothing we could do but to accept what you have
become. And you became a princess hahaha
Y: He said that? haha
M: Of course not, he just said we should accept and love you more for coming
out. Naks! haha
Y: It was the best decision of my life. Thank you for being open and accepting.
M: Of course, your my half sis now. I will always support you and your men haha
Y: haha I am very much happy in a relationship now.
M: I’m happy for you and thank you for doing this as well. I like talking to
gays too because they are very open and honest about anything in life. It’s
liberating. Do you have any advice to closeted gays?
Y: Hmm, I understand how they must be feeling and I have nothing but respect
for them. It’s hard to come out but I hope they will find it in their hearts to
accept themselves and the courage to be proud of it. We just always need
someone to understand and support them.
M: Okay! I miss you!
Y: I miss you too! By the way, I thought I could ask some questions for you.
M: Haha, so you did not forget. I’ll put it on my next blog now so another
Y: Let’s do it.