Disclaimer: All views expressed on this blog are my own based by my experience and do not represent of any entity with which I have been, am now or will be affiliated


March 21, 2021

M: Happy birthday, pops!! Your hair is quite long for your age! haha
D: Thanks, Kiks. Oh, what I meant Maria, sometimes Niskie! haha

M: Haha I totally forgot you called me Kikay “Kiks” (meant girly in English).
D: You will always be my girly daughter, Yves will be half girly haha

M: Haha I know, right? How are things going on for you? Aside from your long hair. What is the story behind not cutting it?
D: I love my hair, just like yours. Like father, like daughter haha But we are well and had our 1st dose of vaccine. And good thing, we have changed our president now. How are things for you?

M: Well a lot has changed but unfortunately our president is still the same haha
D: Yeah, that sucks huh? Let’s hope for the best in the upcoming months.

M: Yes, it is quite frustrating what’s happening right now. I really hope for a light at the end of the tunnel for a lot of people here.
D: I can understand your frustration but we need to move forward one step at a time.

M: Yes, thanks dad. I am doing a lot of experiments to help me with the changes that are happening.
D: Ah yes you mentioned Stoicism and Minimalism. Good luck with those but no complaining like what Stoics do is a bit of hard to be honest.
M: Yup, but that principle is amazing. It is not being emotionless, I get really annoyed and complain too for example when the house is not clean, not so me last year haha. But, it is how I am processing these emotions right now. I encourage myself to feel it and process them. It is actually liberating. I am in love with meditation right now btw which is not Stoic. These principles and techniques help me to be grateful and appreciate my life even better.

D: Good luck with your experiments. You are doing a lot of things wow. And before I forget, congratulations on your new endeavor! Wohoo!!
M: Thanks, dad. I am very happy to become part of it again.

D: Well, I believe in you no matter what happens. By the way, what is the topic of our blog today?
M: Thanks, dad. Well, about you, mom and us your kids. I am just really happy that despite of everything that happened we still choose our family.

D: It was quite a journey and we are still choosing each other everyday.
M: How did the both of you managed to remain strong despite of the challenges? It is quite interesting and until now I got that family value from you guys. I will always choose family no matter what happens. I remember talking to mom before that she mentioned forgiveness, communication and love as the main ingredients for a successful marriage. She told me that if one of you commit a mistake that will not justify the whole part of you. I actually find it really really courageous and loving.
D: Ah well, yes. It is not all about myself. It is about us, consistently doing our work. We have issues but because we are a team so we work things out. It is about improving our own self so we could give and understand more the other party. It should be a lot of forgiveness a long the way too. Looking in the eyes of the other person.

M: I actually like that approach. I see this in every couple who truly care about each other. I really believe that we go to a relationship having an open heart. Speaking of forgiveness, I just talked to a friend a couple of days back and I apologized to him if I ever hurt his feelings because I said something and I didn’t talk to him for a couple of months because of a misunderstanding. I will never forget how he made me feel that day. He told me that he could not remember I have hurt his feelings. He can only remember all the times we shared together. And from then, I felt very lucky to be his friend. He saw me in those times that I could not understand myself. It was so warm, I kept on crying when he said that because it’s like true love coming from a friend. And I will do everything to love my friends as much as they love me. My family and bf. I am really grateful for the people who are with me right now. I will talk about friendships maybe next week in my blog.

D: I am so happy you mentioned that because sometimes our ego can really get us in the way and if we are not honest to ourselves, we cannot be honest to those around us. We have to let go of the things that weigh us down and also forgive ourselves.
M: Yes. Surrendering was a difficult concept for me before but will talk more about this in my upcoming blog. I also want to know how did you understand Yves when he came out? Was it hard for you to accept?
D: Well, it was very tough. I thought, he was just like me growing up. And when he came out, I remember your mom talked to me first and then that was it. I couldn’t accept it before because I wanted to change him – so he could act like a guy. I wished him to be a guy who will date a girl but as time goes by I realized that I wanted him to act like a guy for myself – I was so afraid of what others will think of me as a dad, I should be strong but I have a gay son. I did not see it from his perspective and his own good. And from that realization, I now see him as a loving individual just like everyone else. A strong man who loves himself and loves others. We have become closer now. We are like best friends forever! haha

M: Haha I know. You and mom kept gushing about him.
D: Well, of course we all love you equally.
M: It’s okay. I think Yves needs more love than me hahaha
D: haha if you say so :p

M: It must be very hard raising 3 kids. I can’t imagine myself taking care of kids to be very honest. I am just very tired of mopping the floor here and other household chores.
D: Haha, well it’s okay if you don’t want kids. As you always say, you are always challenging status quo and I don’t think that having a kid will complete an individual. It is just different for everyone. But for me, it was one hell of an experience. Having kids is my self-actualization – the top of Maslow’s heirarchy of needs. Having kids also meant someone are dependent on you – an example of unconditional love because you are not expecting anything in return from them. I always look forward to waking up everyday. You guys are my why. The reason why I keep going, just like your why when you are finding your “right guy” and in the process you discovered something more wonderful. It is just like raising kids.
M: Wow, wonderfully said. Thanks, dad. I don’t close my doors in having kids. Kids who are dependent of you meaning 0 to 18 years old let’s just be clear on that. I want to make sure that I am emotionally prepared to have one. I just can’t have kids just because I want someone take care of me when I grow old.
D: Haha, of course. You can always do you and don’t feel pressured. That is why you have to educate your kids and trust them that they can do and be independent of you at the right age – that is a gift.
M: Thanks for clarifying, dad. Well, I am not pressured. I don’t care if the culture doesn’t work for me. I will create my own 😉
D: Looks like you don’t want to be married too.
M: Well, I am not closing doors. I’d want to be married someday but I just have to have a really strong why for doing that.
D: I think it just happens.
M: It just doesn’t happen, dad. You have to work to make it happen. I am not the “let’s just see what happens” kind of girl. I believe in principles, discipline and working hard. I also believe in values. We should know what we want early on so that, we don’t date guys who doesn’t give us what we truly want. The “it just happens” feeling is because of constantly working on yourself it doesn’t feel like working for the relationship anymore.
D: Oh wow, yes you are the dating guru now. haha
M: I have my no BS guide in dating by the way. I will send you the copy haha.
D: I totally support you in your journey. We really have to constantly work on ourselves so we can understand ourselves and those around us.

M: Anyway, thanks for doing this with me. I look forward to more conversations with you. I miss you and I love you. I wish you to have a great birthday celebration. Keep safe.
D: Yes, thanks. I love you too! Keep safe. Good night. Yellow Army forever! haha

FIN